Is The Man Really Supposed To Be Head Of The Household?

The fifties and sixties gave us television programs like “Leave it to Beaver”, “Happy Days”, and so on which gave us a family dynamic that appeared warm and cozy and safe. Dad was always there, sitting in his eazy-chair reading the newspaper. Everyone gathered around a dinner table for supper prepared by the woman and was ready to be served as soon as Howard walked through the door after a hard day’s work down at the hardware store. I did not grow up in such an environment so that caused me to be quite enthralled and taken by these scenes of bliss and harmony. Even though the parents fought, there was never any abuse or talk of divorce. I have fond memories of watching those shows. I really do. Why did the Fonz have to go and jump that stupid shark and ruin it for everyone? (A little inside the business humor there).

I want to focus on a the male-dominant aspect of most of the T.V. programming back then and also on the same aspect as it relates to the heavy male orientation of the teaching that comes from countless pulpits even today. Now, I’m not a big woman’s libber or gender equality nut. The genders are not equal. My wife can not bench-press two hundred and fifty pounds. I can (I think). She can’t do a lot of things that I can. Likewise a man is totally incapable of bearing children. That will never happen and after watching my wife give birth to my son I can honestly say: “Thank you Jesus that I’m a man”. There are other, less obvious things women can do better than men. It’s a design thing. It mostly deals with running a household economy and the reason behind it is largely due to giftings, callings, and anointing. What else would drive a woman to even consider for one second having more than one child. You would think that experiencing that mind-numbing pain once would be enough. Not only that but then they scream in your face and treat you like a slave for twelve months and you want more? Is it insanity or is it simply called motherhood? I know this much: men are not designed, gifted, called, or anointed for it. The sooner society comes back around to that revelation, the better. What does the Bible say about who should run the household? Who’s household is it anyway?…

She looketh well to the ways of herhousehold, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

Proverbs 31 is often referred to as the “virtuous woman” chapter of the Bible. A source of proper female etiquette if you will. It says right there that it is “her” household. Need more?

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
Proverbs 31:21

Well, well. There we have it again. It is “her” household. Need more? Alright!

She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
Proverbs 31:15

There you go. Four times in three separate verses contained within one chapter. The “virtuous woman” chapter. Let me tell you my own personal testimony about what happened to me once I got this revelation. My wife and I used to fight about money constantly. She was trying to manage the day to day operations of the household but I was taught by big time preachers that it was my God-given duty to handle all of the money because the man is the authority in the house and if I didn’t do it I was a failure. One day, with my head buried in the Bible, probably trying to teach my wife what a “virtuous” woman was supposed to act like, the Lord pointed out to me the obvious truth about who really was supposed to be in charge of things around the house… and it wasn’t me.

I was profoundly sorry. I had been robbing her of her gifting and robbing the family of prosperity. After giving her control of finances, housing arrangements, discipline, and so on, we actually began to get on top of our circumstances instead of under them. Bills were getting paid. The kids saw a united front and, at least I believe, gained a greater sence of security. As for me, it was a tremendous burdon lifted right off of me. If the train left the tracks it wasn’t my fault anymore. Well, it could be my fault if I fail in my duty as the spiritual head of the house. That’s another article for another day. 

Give it up, men. It was never yours to begin with.

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